Diary of a mad black woman

Mother's Day is here again - and what better way to show my love and admiration for my mother than with the excessively open forum that is my blog.

I must say, I've been waiting for this holiday to come around as I still live with the guilt for falling short on her birthday a couple months ago. Unfortunately, I didn't plan properly and had to overnight my mothers present to ensure it arrived in time. All was well shows how much the postage is right on the front of the box?!? Uuuutttooooohhhh - the warden (pet name) is not going to like this!

You see, my family immigrated from Croatia as penniless refugees, and the act of throwing money away senselessly is unacceptable. Needless to say, I had to cover my tracks.

My mission: Persuade Rita, the lovely post office worker to cover up the cost of postage.

Me: is there annnny way you can cover up the cost of the shipping?

Rita: No

Me: Yeeaaaah.....this a present for my mom and she's gonna go bananas if she sees how much it was to send this. Can't you just cover that little itty bitty part up with a 'fragile' sticker?

Rita: No, I cannot.

Me: Well, I just......

Rita: You shoudda planned better. Especially if this is fo ya mother.

Me: I realize this but...

Rita: I don't wanna hear it! You're just like my kids- "Mamma I'm sooooorrry" Don't plan, don't save, don't THINK! That's why ya'll are broke! Did you know you can.......

Unfortunately, I have a hard time recalling the rest of our conversation as I started to look around and noticed EVERYONE captivated by my lashing. Looks like I missed out on customer service day.

Mission status: FAILURE

Although I didn't feel my actions had warranted such a tirade, I did learn my lesson and mom received her mothers day gift with plenty of time to spare. Its the least I can do for all she has done. My mom even claims she walked through the valley of death for me, but I know for a fact its not true. Unless the valley of death is code for the block and a half she would walk to 7 11 to support the apocalyptic fudgesicle addiction she had when she was pregnant with me.

So, my lovely mother, happy mothers day. I may not have walked through the valley of death for you, but walking through the valley of Rita's wrath was no picnic either.