Thanks for the memories...

If you're on my daily call list, you've already heard of the bum that visited me at work yesterday. One of the many perks of being located on Pico blvd is the number of mobile homed customers who frequent our business. As Sweetpeas will be relocating to Santa Monica this summer, I thought it would be fun to rank my top 5 bum experiences there.

Five - To this day, I have no idea who this bum is. In the middle of the night this THIEF broke into our store and and stole MY brand-new jar of Nutella! The evidence came back inconclusive, but as far as I'm concerned... the investigation is still open.

Number four would have to be the one arm dude that ALWAYS comes in asking for change! After realizing politeness was getting me nowhere, I had to show him I meant business by yelling "get the f**k out!" I haven't seen him since our last run in where I threatened to hurt him. I hope he is doing well :)

Number three is near and dear to my heart. After falling into numerous displays, yelling at the Heidi Swap rhinestone collection and licking one sheet of paper - he reached into his trench coat (where I assumed he had a weapon) but instead pulled out a vintage Diana Ross Record. He claimed he was her drummer until the music industry "sabotaged and pushed him out of the business." Tragic! Had he had any $$$ I would have totally given him the number to my therapist so he could sort out his looming emotional issues.

Number two -- Although they pay taxes, own real estate and have the capacity to shower at their leisure, I still consider the vast majority of men who come into my work to hit on me as bums. Especially since many of them have girlfriends/wives (that they've come in with before). How did they know nothing entices me more than a philandering man! Am I that transparent? Let it be known that my quality of customer service is temperamental.

By leaps and bounds the top spot goes to what we like to call 'the night of the bum.' While drinking champagne late into the evening, a bum broke into our back room, pulled down his pants and... well, we drunkards stumbled out the front door and screamed for help. While he held himself hostage inside our office, the bad-ass LAPD busted in and drug his broke-ass out swat style. AWESOME. I wish every night was as eventful as 'the night of the bum.'