who knew?

Call off the dogs, the hunt is over! I'd like to announce that I've just been on the perfect date. Who is this irresistible catch I'm boasting about? Well, to my surprise, it's none other than...me? While dining solo recently, it dawned on me that I was having a ridiculous amount of fun. I asked myself... "am I the perfect date?" I went down the checklist:

Punctuality - right on time (double points).
Restaurant selection - Exactly what I was in the mood for!
Good conversation - My internal dialogue got off to a slow start, but when the guy wearing sketchers walked in... forget about it!
Chemistry - Check.
Hotness factor - Well...when someone else comes up and hits on your date while you're on the date... always a good sign.
Did I just get straight A's? Sweet!

It should have come as no surprise as I recalled a previous conversation my mother and I had...

Mom - Physically what do you look for in a man?
Me - Tall, brown hair, smokey eyes, olive skin, a lean, muscular body...
Mom - Like...you?
Me - Exactly! I'm looking for the male version of meeeee.
Mom - You're weird.

Eureka! All my horrible dates are now making sense. How could anyone possibly follow perfection? Frankly, it's a load off. I can finally unleash the burden of all the times I said "it's not you, it's me." I wasn't lying, it was the truth! I must say, I'm almost disgusted at my self righteousness; never thinking I had a hand in the matter. How narcissistic!