40 days of lent my ass

Now, I'm not trying to complain here, but I was under the impression that lent lasted forty days. ONLY forty days. Nope! Unbenounced to me, forty six days to be exact is the duration of Lent this year. Frustration sets in. Apparently, the 'forty days' represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the dessert before.....bla bla bla let's get back to me now.
You see, I gave up something really important and if I may, a little ambitious this year...... All desserts. Yes, I repeat: ALL DESSERTS! That means no sprinkles cupcakes, no frozen yogurt with captain crunch and blueberry toppings - even my favorite trail mix with white chocolate chips are off limits. Ahahah my taste buds are starting to do the electric slide as we speak.
Why did I give up ALL desserts and not just one? Because my relationship with sweets plays like a bad after school special. First its just an innocent little cookie crumb, then before you know it I'm seven red velvet cupcakes deep and feeling gluttonous as f*#k. I've learned from the past - if I need to give up one, I must stay away from them all.
I was pondering if God would get upset if I took a lil 'time out' since I technically only signed up for forty days? Yeah.....maybe not the best idea. Especially since I'm not exactly the poster child for a model catholic. Not so long ago, while filling out a check for a traffic ticket, I wrote 'tell the officer who gave me this he can eat a d*#k!' in the memo portion. Probably not what Jesus would have done. Also, when there was samples at costco last week, I lied and took two saying one was for my mom. And then I went back a second time. To every stand.
What's a girl to do then? Nothing. I'll just sit here, bide my time and pretend my fruit cup is really a nutella crepe.
So if you happen to see me out and I pass on something sweet, please don't judge. I swear, I'm not that kind of girl - I'm only doing this for Jesus.